Valentine’s Day doesn’t always mean love is here to stay
Red-and-pink decorations have replaced the red-and-green ones of a few weeks ago — yes, Valentine’s Day is coming soon! Hallmark and the like have mastered the art of telling you how to put love in your life for Feb. 14. But for true romance to flourish for more than a day, you need to know the basics of a sustainable relationship. Check out a few expert tips:
1. Expecting perfection is the best way to end up with a broken heart. Fairy tales don’t tell you what really goes on during the “happily ever after” part. The only reasonable commitment your partner can make is to be with you as you endure whatever life throws your way, no matter how challenging that may be. Approach the relationship as one between two equal adults, and embrace the change necessary to transition the passion of a new relationship into the true intimacy of a long-term bond, Dr. Randi Gunther says in Psychology Today.
2. It’s not you, it’s me. Or maybe it is you. The more growth as a person you experience because of your partner, the more committed and satisfying the relationship is, according to multiple studies highlighted in The New York Times. Chances are, you won’t be the same person at 60 years old that you were at 30. A lifelong partner is someone who helps you become the person you want to be.
3. Is this really what you want? Some love the thrill of the chase, and brain chemistry is a big part of that, as Damon L. Jacobs, author of “Rational Relating: The Smart Way to Stay Sane in the Crazy World of Love,” told women’s health. Sustainable relationships involve commitments that some just aren’t willing to make. That could be you, or that could be your partner. Find out before you dive too deep.
The flowers, candy and restaurant reservations come on Feb. 14, but real love begins Feb. 15.